This was my study room.

It slowly became out of control.

Because it was slow, I didn’t notice it becoming a source of embarrassment.

I knew there was a problem when I found myself scared of other people seeing it.

For virtual meetings, I would lift my standing desk so no one could see the mess.

If people came over, I would shut the door.

I knew I had to tidy the room but over the years, I lost confidence.
 

It’s been the same cycle, over and over.

Mess gathers.

One day, I have an “enough is enough” moment.

I ‘clean’ like a maniac for hours and forget to eat.

I vow to never let it get messy again.

Mess gathers.
 

Then one day in the library, I came across Marie Kondo’s book – “The life changing magic of tidying”

I started reading it and immediately understood where I was going wrong – I didn’t know how to tidy.

I was never taught.

I never bothered to learn.

I was told to clean up, but never how.

It’s like parenting – it’s important but no one bothers to teach you how to do it.

My embarassment shifted my thinking. I wasn’t only bothered about the mess. I looked at my room and thought to myself, “I can’t become who I want to be when my room looks like this”.
 

Kondo’s cleaning principles are simple

1) Discard almost everything.

2) Have a place for everything that’s left.
 

It seemed like a big task so I trialled it on my room. Kondo says that you should tidy one category at a time (e.g. clothes), not room by room. I was itching to get going so I broke her first rule and cleaned my study room. Sorry Marie!

I started by discarding everything I could.

Kondo proposes a brutal standard,

Hold it in your hand and ask yourself, “Does it spark joy?”

If the answer is yes, keep it.

If the answer is no, get rid of it.

This means that everything that’s left in your room, sparks joy. I liked that.

Check out what I decided to discard.

1 study room. 6 full rubbish bags.


 

I am still tidying (and reading the book). Kondo suggests it can take 6 months but after you done, that’s it.
 

I wanted to share 6 of my reflections so far.

1) Physical clutter = Mental clutter

Most people struggle with a cluttered mind.

Take the opposite extreme – a monk with an uncluttered mind.

Ajahn Brahm is my favourite monk. He lives in a small cave with a thin mattress, a buddha statue, and a bat on the wall (he likes bats). That’s it.

I meditate every day. But getting rid of 6 bags full of physical clutter felt like meditating for 100 hours.

2) Throwing out stuff is hard.

It was hard to throw away stuff – old journals, mountains of loose paper, diary from years ago, boxes, gifts, pens, cards.

“What if I regret it?”

“What if I need it later?”

None of this stuff sparked joy. It may have in the past but not anymore. So I discarded.

One thing was for sure – it got easier.

There is still a lot of stuff that I am having trouble parting with. More self discovery awaits it seems.

3) It’s more than tidying. It’s about letting go of the past.

“I realised that I had lived those moments to the full and I was able to thank my keepsakes for the joy they gave me at the time. When I threw them away, I felt like I was confronting my past for the first time in my life.” – one of Kondo’s clients.

My physical environment was pulling my mental environment back into the past, away from the present. This realisation was the life changing ‘magic’ of tidying.

I was living and working in an environment that blocks my ability to be present.

I am unsure how hard and far to push this.

Should I get rid of everything until all I have is a standing desk, a monitor, and a laptop? Tempting.

4) Discard – applies to everything

I have been a personal development nerd for more than a decade. I am noticing a recurring pattern. The first step seems to be to get rid of.

To tidy, start by discarding.

To better manage time, start by eliminating unnecessary tasks.

To better manage opportunities, say No to almost everything.
 

My mind is starting to ruminate about what went well in 2024, and what I could do better in 2025. I am contemplating whether 2025 will be the year of living an uncluttered, simple life.
 

How will my life change if I focus on discarding the clutter in all areas of my life.
 

Physical clutter – only keep the stuff that sparks joy.

People clutter – some people spark joy and some don’t.

Social commitment clutter – only attend compulsory and ‘hell yer’ events.

WhatsApp, Youtube – consider stopping completely. 

What do you need to discard?

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Much love to yourself and of course, myself.

Dr G

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P.S Do Happy (my first book) is done and will be on sale soon! It is by far the best book I have ever written 🙂 Let me know if you want a copy.