My coaching client hired me to help him find his purpose.

I wasn’t sure whether I could help him do this.

What I could help with, was to provide some useful frameworks for his journey.

Here are the 5 things we talked about: 

1) Values

Values are what’s important to us.

If something is ‘off’, or you feel ‘stuck’ in life, it’s possible that you are acting in conflict with what you value. Spending the time to discover what you value is time well spent. Once you know what they are for you, you can act in alignment.

Living in alignment can in itself, give you a sense of purpose or at least, a sense that you are heading in the right direction.

*I dedicate a whole chapter in my book to Values. If you want a ‘get to the point without buying the book’ version, read this –> Discover your values (the short way)

If you want the book, check it out here – Do Happy 🙂

2) Ikigai

Ikigai translates to ‘a reason to live’.

At the intersection of what you are GOOD at, what you ENJOY, what the world NEEDS, and what the world will PAY you for, is your purpose. A reason to live. Creating a list for each of these 4 metrics, and then looking for overlaps, is a powerful reflection exercise. It’s not enough though. You need real-world feedback to see if you are on the right track.

That’s what the following points are for.
 

3) A heavy bias towards action

Purpose is not something you can think yourself into.

You need to ACT. Try stuff. Learn. Try again. When you do this, life will give you feedback. Internalise the feedback, and act some more.

To fast track your path to finding purpose, close the gap between thinking and doing.
 

4) A heavy bias towards silence

Lean on the infinite power of the subconscious mind.

Quieten the external noise (e.g. emails, commitments, notifications).

Quieten the internal noise (e.g. your thoughts).

What’s left? The ‘noise’ of your subconscious mind. There is something special to behold here. When I am struggling or lost, I turn to my subconscious. I am not sure what I am tapping into – God? The Universe? Consciousness? Brain activity? Whatever it is, it is wiser than my thinking mind.

The paradox is that what you are looking for, may have always been there but you didn’t know where to look.
 

5) Oscillation

Oscillate by moving back and forth between 3 and 4.

Growth happens when you allow time for action and silence. It’s like building muscle. You lift heavy at the gym to create micro-tears in the muscles. Then you take a few days off to allow those muscle to heal, stronger. Finding your purpose is a long journey that requires a similar rhythm.

In the micro, you can design your days for action (during the day) and silence (at the start and end of the day).

In the macro, you can design your year for action (during the quarter) and silence (for 2 weeks at the end of each quarter).

Finding your purpose may not happen with 3 or 4 only, you may need to dance between the two.
 

6) Build meta skills

If you don’t know what you want to do with your life, focus on building meta skills. 

Meta skills are higher-order skills that ensure success in any of life’s domains. For example, discipline, consistency, and patience will serve you in every aspect of life. If you don’t know what to focus on, build these meta skills. Think of it as your way of preparing for opportunities that don’t exist yet.

That opportunity when it comes (and it will), may be your purpose.
 

7) Start and finish difficult projects

Build meta skills by flexing the ‘completion muscle’ on difficult projects.

The project you choose doesn’t matter. Make sure it’s hard. Make sure it will take a long time to complete. The act of completing such a project, will help you build meta skills. Writing a 403 page book was a difficult project for me. It brought out a level of discipline, consistency, and patience I didn’t know for sure whether I had. 

If you are lucky, the act of completing a difficult project will not only teach you meta skills, it will lead you straight to your purpose. 



If you got this far, REPLY to this email with your biggest takeaway (or just say Hi!). 


If you LOVED this, FORWARD it to someone you care about.
 

Much love to you and of course, myself.
 

Dr G

***

Check out my new book – Do Happy (If you have any questions, reach out). 

So far I have sold 117 copies (and given away 102). 

I gave away so many books that it got listed on Amazon as the #1 Most Gifted in Mental Stress category.





Proud of that 🙂