Before we start, a quick reminder that the next LIVE WEBINAR is Sunday November 12th at 8am on Overcoming negative thoughts, doubts and self limiting beliefs by “flicking the channel”. Register using this link.
As you may know, I am writing my first book! My hope is that ‘Do Happy’ will become a valuable resource for my patients and clients. For anyone who feels stressed, overwhelmed, anxious, depressed or simply stuck, this one’s for you. Here is an excerpt from the ‘Advanced’ skills section of the book. It’s about death.
One Friday morning, I attended the nursing home to find out that Chester, one of my nursing home residents, had passed away an hour earlier. Chester and I have had a lot of good chats. Sometimes I would be his doctor and talk to him about his medical problems. Most the time, I would be like a long lost grandson and let him tell me about politics, philosophy and nature. I inevitably build bonds with many of my nursing home residents. After many years of working in nursing homes, I have also become used to letting go of these bonds.
When I found out that Chester had passed, I attended his room to offer my condolences to his family. It is always a surreal experience. I was speaking to Chester the week before about the news. This week, he was lying motionless in bed with his mouth open and eyes closed. Although his body was there, Chester wasn’t there. It was as if the driver of a car had left their car behind.
Two questions came to mind.
- Where did the ‘driver’ go?
Did he get another car? Like in rebirth.
Did he arrive? Perhaps in heaven. Chester wouldn’t have belonged in hell.
Is he gone forever? As in, what it was like before we were born. Nothingness.
- What makes for a good drive while we still have the car?
We are all on the clock. It is important to reflect deeply and often about what is truly important. If you accidentally find yourself on a spiritual journey, like myself, many of these reflections will be about not only what is truly important but also what is true.
I get to do 5-10 death certificates a year. It is part of the parcel of working in a nursing home. Over the years, I have seen many of my nursing home residents pass away. It didn’t matter who they were or what they did. The driver just seemed to have left and they were not coming back. From housewives to war veterans, doctors to dentists, mothers and fathers, nurses to locksmiths and even a man who invented bomb detectors designed to save the lives of high profile Australians in the Government. It is always humbling that the things we acquire and strive for during our lives, whether it’s money, status, impact or a family, it’s all left behind at some point.
The tagline of ‘Do Happy’ is a way to be happy all the time. It is a big conversation and one worth having. Such a way of life requires certain parameters. If we were able to be happy all the time, we must be able to find happiness in all of life. Finding happiness in the good times is easy. Finding it in the bad times is hard. Many of the answers lie there.
Everyone that has ever lived, has or will die. There is no exception. It is often said that ‘death and taxes’ are the only certain things in life. Not everyone pays tax though. Therefore, death is the only thing that we can be certain about. It is normal. It is part of the algorithm. As soon as you are born, you sign a contract to one day, die. Finding a way to accept and understand this fundamental truth of life can be liberating. How you get there is a personal journey. It would be rude for me to take that gift from you.
Happy driving my beautiful friends.
P.S I always make up people’s names to protect the identities of my patients and clients. I googled ‘old people names’ and loved the name Chester.
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P.S I talk about the nuances of what I cover in my newsletter through my LIVE webinar series Sundays at 8am. The next LIVE WEBINAR is Sunday November 12th at 8am on Overcoming Negative Thinking (Part 3 – From Resourceful to Radical to Restful). Register using this link.
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P.S X2 #DoHappy update. Over 20,000 words so far!