A good friend’s reflections on last week’s ‘Are you busy?’ article
“There is no peace when the mind is busy, even if you don’t have anything to do in the moment or day or if you’re with family.”
My goal for myself and anyone I work with is sustainable lifelong wellbeing. This occurs at the intersection of ‘what’ will help, ‘why’ it will help and ‘how’ you implement it into your busy life.
What will help?
Think classic self-care. I recently did a workplace wellbeing talk where the staff were able to generate some great ideas.
Exercise. Sleep. Diet. Less screen time. Spending time with loved ones. Meditation. Gratitude. Developing a positive outlook on life. Slowing down.
Why will it help?
In general, it’s physical and mental wellbeing. If you delve deeper, you will find reasons that are specific to you. For example, becoming fit so that you can run around with your kids (or their kids) could be your why.
How do I implement it into my busy life?
Most people are busy, tired, stressed and have no time. How do you take the ‘what’ and the ‘why’ and implement it despite these conditions?
My Dad is a world-class cook. One of his specialities is his lentil curry. Coming from a Sri Lankan background, I have eaten lentils almost daily since I could tolerate solid food. I have tasted many people’s lentils. My Dad’s is the best. If you had it, you would agree. The depth of the colour, the potency of the smell and the epicness of the taste is world class. He is often asked, “What’s the secret ingredient?” After many years of avoiding the question, he recently let it slip. He grinds his own curry powder. Who does that?!
When it comes to sustainable lifelong wellbeing, the how is the ground curry powder. It is the secret ingredient.
The conversation about wellbeing focuses on what we should do (e.g. exercise, meditation) and why we should do it (e.g. fitness, relaxation). How many more times do we need to hear that exercise is good for us? Or that meditation will help us relax? We already know this stuff. The missing part is the how.
We rarely talk about how we can implement it into our busy lives.
I think the wellbeing conversation needs to shift to a conversation about behaviour change. If we can master the art of behaviour change, we can learn to design the what and why into our life at will. This is a superpower.
This requires 4 key skills.
- Mindset.
“Behaviour is the end result of a prevailing story in one’s mind: change the story and the behaviour will change.” – Dr Jacinta Mpalyenkana
Check out my article on aspirational mindsets – Setting dope goals
- Goal setting.
“If you don’t know where your goalposts are, it’s very hard to score a goal.”- Chris Do.
Check out my article on goal setting – Beware of dead person goals
- Habits.
If you can adopt the right mindset and design an effective goal, the next step is to reverse engineer the habits that will make this goal inevitable.
Check out my articles on habits
Habit loops
Mastering the Cue
Mastering the Routine – SRS, Yes MAM
The 3650 rule
Mastering the Reward
- Time management and productivity.
Time is our most valuable resource. How much time have you invested in understanding how to optimise it?
Much love to you and of course myself,
Dr G
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